Evolve U

Fly Above

29th December, 2009 - Posted by Shaunice Hawkins - 1 Comment

Recently, I heard an interesting song entitled, “Fly Above”, written and performed by R&B Grammy Award-winning singer/songwriter, record producer and television personality, Kandi Burruss. In the song, Ms. Burruss boldly declares that she “flies above” all the negativity in her life; refusing to get emotionally entangled in “drama” (any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results) stoked by “haters” (those who disapprove of others’ successes). After considering Ms. Burruss’s motivation behind writing song, I wondered what would happen if we each applied that same logic to our lives? 

“Drama” is certainly not a new concept. It’s been in existence since Adam and Eve. Throughout the ages we’ve written, sung or read about it in bedtime stories, religious fables, poetry, songs and novels. We’ve seen it re-enacted in theatrical performances, operas, television shows and movies. Of course, we’ve experienced it via daily interactions with others at work, home, family gatherings, gym, etc. Although we can’t change the fact that “drama happens”, we can choose how we respond to it.  Instead of “righting” this past year’s wrongs with lofty aspirations and well-intentioned pledges (such as losing 40 lbs by mid- January), why don’t we make concerted effort to raise our emotional intelligence (EQ) (the emotional ability to build strong relationships, succeed at life and work, solve problems and achieve goals effectively) by responding to drama, conflict and contention with a more enlightened stream of consciousness and higher plane of thought?  Why not declare, as Ms. Burruss does in her song, to boldly “fly above all the drama”?  Now is the perfect opportunity to do so.

Like all aeronautical pilots, we must undergo regimented training before can we take flight. Here are a few strategies that can be used to gain the altitude ultimately sought.

Watch Your Diet

Keep a two-week diary of everything that you emotionally consume. Notate each life, work, social and/or familial situation that pushes your hot buttons and the feelings (i.e. anger, hurt, sadness) you experienced at the time of each incident. At the end of the second week, review both the instances and the emotions. You will be surprised by what (stress, anxiety, depression) and how much you are actually consuming on a regular basis.

Unload Extra Baggage

We tend to take on the weight, responsibility and guilt of the world when, in fact, it’s not ours to carry. Control the amount of weight you bear by carefully watching how much emotional baggage you pick up from others. If you are facing personal issues that need your undivided attention, you aren’t in a healthy position to help others. In addition, extra baggage can weigh you down and limit your altitude. Resolve your issues first before biting off more than you can emotionally chew by taking on others’ problems.

Make Better Choices

Little changes can make a big difference in your flight plan.  If your social network emotionally depends on you too much, you may have to consider changing your network.  Giving co-workers, friends and family carte blanche to draw on your emotional strength, sound mind, and steadfast resolve will eventually weaken you, causing you to take on stresses and anxieties that do not belong to you. Further, without any type of positive reinforcement and replenishment, you run the risk of emotional emaciation and/or apathy.  Make better social choices and you can lower stress-related illnesses as well as live a happier emotional life. Being emotionally restrictive will limit the activities of those who emotionally “walk all over you”; just be careful that your apathy doesn’t alienate those whom you have healthy relationships.  Every pilot needs a co-pilot.

Stay Hydrated

Over 60% of the human body is made up of water.  Water is absolutely necessary to sustain human life as is the power of positive thinking.  According to the Mayo Clinic, the health benefits that positive thinking provides includes an increased life span, lower rates of depression, lower levels of distress, greater resistance to the common cold, better psychological and physical well-being, reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease and better coping skills during hardships and times of stress.  Just as we are to adhere to a daily regimen of drinking eight glasses of water for our body to function properly, we need to adhere to a daily regimen of positive reinforcement via affirmations, scriptures, hymns, mantras, etc. for our emotions to function properly.  The greater positive intake, the higher we can soar.

Avoid Saboteurs

Just as there are certain forces that can cause a plane to crash (birds, lightning, high winds, extra weight), there are certain saboteurs (such as revisiting a past relationship or rehashing an old argument) that can prove detrimental to a successful flight strategy.  It is essential to have an emergency exit strategy in place.  As much as you can, stay away from those persons and/or situations that will cause you to have an emotional lapse in judgment. If you do have a lapse, don’t beat yourself up.  Assume ownership for your part of the situation. Thoroughly reassess your behavior; be honest. Identify 2-3 ways to handle saboteurs should they arise again.  Rehearse your responses and implement if/when necessary. 

Don Your Flight Suit

You cannot “fly above all the drama” in jeans and sneakers. You must wear specifically designed gear to protect you from the climate changes experienced as one accelerates upward (Ms. Burruss sings of a “hard, armored shell” in her song). Donning this gear or shell means you have the ability to withstand and endure emotional volatility – no matter what comes your way – and still ascend.  Sure, you’ll experience turbulence (anger, sorrow and hurt) but at the end of the day you’ll still rise because you know that “what doesn’t break you makes you stronger”.

Take Flight

This year leaves all of us a little battle-tested and war torn.  We can choose to stay grounded, lamenting all that we’ve lost or we can rise in 2010 like a phoenix – reborn anew to live again – take flight and “fly above”.

 

FINAL THOUGHT

“I will this day try to live a simple, sincere and serene life; repelling promptly every thought of discontent, anxiety, discouragement, impurity and self-seeking; cultivating cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity and the habit of holy silence; exercising economy in expenditure, carefulness in conversation, diligence in appointed service, fidelity to every trust and a child-like trust in God.” ~ Bishop John H. Vincent